I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize