he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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