office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
