Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
