Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
