is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
