Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
