Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
