I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
