all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize