What did we do last night that was yellow?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
