All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
