Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
