That's when you crack a 10am beer
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
