1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
