Just mADE A PArabola og urine
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize