it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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