I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I love you.
Bad choice
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