I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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