went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
