I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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