week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
