her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize