Apparently you make a good broom.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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