Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
