Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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