Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize