remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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