Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Two words: blizzard sex
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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