if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
