one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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