I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
