You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
MIDGETS
????
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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