we were pretty classy up until the second keg
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize