PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
i've created a new STD.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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