I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
