I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
