That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
