he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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