But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
