goodnight i made you a song goodbye
time to smoke my breakfast
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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