i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Cover your peen. We're going out.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
