dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
