Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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