I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
