i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize