Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Randomize
