I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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