and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
And the cops told us we were all naked.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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