How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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