I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize