Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
