This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
