Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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