dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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