They should really pass out barf bags in church
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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