great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
