Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
My vagina is officially offended.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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